Pledging vs. Hazing

The topic of Pledging and Greek Life has always been a controversial subject that often puts Greeks and non-Greeks on opposite sides. For decades, there have been many misconceptions about the origins and purpose of pledging into a fraternity or sorority. I'm going to try to shed some light on this subject and erase some of the stereotypes that are associated with Pledging and Greek life.

Ask DedanAs a member of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc, I can honestly say that Greek life is something that's hard for many non-Greeks to understand.

(By the way, Greeks need to stop using the term GDI (God Damn Individual). It's blasphemous as well as disrespectful to non Greeks who may or may not aspire to be Greek one day. It gives the impression that Greeks are in some way better than non- Greeks which is not true at all.)

It's unfortunate that whenever people speak about Greek life, pledging gets brought up. There are so many other prominent and news worthy programs and activities that Greeks participate in that deserve way more attention. Pledging is usually a 5 or 6 week process that is meant to break you down mentally and physically and then build you back up stronger than you were before while initiating you into the organization. That timeframe is miniscule in comparison to the lifelong commitment of brotherhood/sisterhood, scholarship and service a member of any Greek organization takes on.

Pledging can be one of the most rewarding things anyone will ever go through however hazing is where the problems come in. Some Greeks don't know and weren't taught the right way to pledge which is unfortunate because it gives non-Greeks the impression that ALL pledging is done in a vicious and brutal way, which is far from reality.

When people say pledging is brutal, immature, savage and ridiculous etc, I would encourage them to look at their history and realize that our ancestors in Africa engaged in similar pledging rituals when initiating new members into a tribe. Actually, all you have to do is turn on the discovery channel to find out that far more extreme rites of passage and initiation traditions still go on to this day. So, anyone who thinks that pledging is barbaric and unnecessary, is belittling the very same customs of their own ancestors in Africa.

If you ask most Greeks about the pledging experience, they will look back on their pledge process as hard but also something that has made them stronger both mentally and physically. Usually, the majority of people that have a problem with pledging are people who haven't even pledged. Here's a statement issued by a member of Zeta Phi Beta regarding her pledging experience:

"As a member of Zeta Phi Beta, I have found that the process that I went through benefits me till this day. It has taught me to carry myself with class even when I am under the pressure of bosses. It has taught me how to love other organizations and I am proud of my process. Yes, there were rough times. But never once did I feel in danger or as if I was made to do anything. I look back on my process and it makes me proud. I am proud of myself for making the decision that I made. I am proud to be a woman who handles her business and through my process I know HOW TO handle my business most effectively and I am honored to be a member of such a dynamic and diverse group of women. I can help dispel the myths by being the great Zeta that I am. I hold my head high, I don't dog other organizations or those not in an organization. The change starts with me making a commitment to myself to focus on the positive ways to represent Z Phi B and me!"

In my research for this article, I came across several other Greeks who feel similar to this woman of Zeta Phi Beta. I would like to encourage Greeks and non-Greeks to do their homework on how Greek life used to be and should be. Nowadays, there's no Greek unity. There are fights after every party as well as a lack of interest in general surrounding Greek life. What's the solution for this? Honestly, it may be too late and the damage may have already been done.

Hopefully, one day there will be a new generation of Greeks who will one day prove me wrong.
 

The Top 10 Ways To Know If You’re A Hater

10. If you don’t support something positive just because you didn’t think of it… you’re a hater.
Ask Dedan

9. If you speak badly about another person who you don’t know or have a reason to dislike… you’re a hater.

8. If you’re interested in someone of the opposite sex but say or do something negative to the person they’re dealing with… you’re a hater.

7. If you have information that could damage someone else’s image, and you make that information public… you’re a hater.

6. If you think someone’s outfit is nice, but go out of your way to try to find something negative about it…you’re a hater.

5. If you spread rumors that you know are not true…you’re a hater.

4. If you see two people walking together and assume they’re creeping…you’re a hater.

3. If you’re having a bad day and you try to bring others down who may be in a good mood…you’re a hater.

2. If you’ve ever thought or said Beyonce can’t sing or dance…you’re a hater.

1. If this list upsets you in any way…you’re a hater.

And last but not least… if you’ve never listened to The Dedan Tolbert Show and haven’t joined DedansPlace.net… You’re a HATER!

 

 

You Wonder Why They Call Us Nigger?

The topic of this article is something I been letting mentally marinate for quite some time now. Now that the state of Black America is at an all-time low and at point where I feel like something has to be said,
Ask DedanI’m speaking my peace.

Let me preface this article by saying that when I use the term 'we', I’m referring to African Americans so, unfortunately, in some, if not many and probably most aspects, I'm guilty of the following offenses myself.

Why is it that we complain that there are never any good black movies being produced by major Hollywood studios? Let me start by saying that there are. Well... At least there used to be.

The problem is that when a good movie comes out such as 'Antoine Fischer' or 'Ray', we don’t support them. Opening weekend, 'Ray' only made 20 million dollars (after all the hype, it was expected to do at least 30 million) and exit polls showed that more white people saw it than blacks.

Nowadays, when a so called 'Black' movie is a hit, it ends up being a crossover hit with White Americans. A good example of this is 'Barbershop' or 'The Great Debaters', both of which had strong opening weekends, mainly because of the White audience that supported it.

For some reason, African Americans are more willing to buy the bootleg versions of hit movies on the Avenue 3 for $10 instead of spending the $10.25 to see it in the theater. The problem with this is that white studios judge how successful a movie is by the opening weekend numbers and they are only going to produce black movies with substance for so long without our own kind supporting them.

You wonder why they call us nigger.

I respect what Tyler Perry has done these past few years. His movies, plays and tv shows have grossed more than 500 million dollars worldwide... yet he is still considered a 'Non A-lister' by Hollywood standards. He will never get the respect he deserves from White America as long as he has to trick African Americans into going to see his movies in the theaters. His first film, 'Diary of a Mad Black Woman' was originally marketed as a buffoonish comedy centered around Madea, when, in fact, this is a heartwarming drama that deals with a strong Black woman overcoming an abusive relationship.

The same can be said about 'Madea's Family Reunion' and his latest 'Meet the Browns'. It’s not surprising that the Madea-less, 'Daddy’s Little Girls' and 'Why Did I Get Married' grossed the least out of all his movies.

Blacks will go see a comedy (in the theaters) that will make them laugh but we refuse to see educational movies or even movies that have some substance in the theaters.

When it comes to movies, we as a people are in a catch-22. The ignorant blacks who buy booklegs regularly and don't support quality movies aren't helping black film makers succeed and then you have the socially conscious blacks who refuse to support buffoonish comedies. So either way, black movies don’t get seen enough for White America to feel like it’s worth the investment.

Speaking of support by Blacks, some things that we do support, we have no business supporting. A good example of this are radio talk shows like Miss Jones and Wendy Williams. These two DJs perpetuate negative stereotypes about African Americans all day, every day and do nothing but gossip and spread rumors that aren’t even true half the time.
There’s a serious problem in Black America when the two highest-rated shows staring African Americans are “I love new York” and “Flavor of Love”.

These are the most popular images of African Americans on television...

And you wonder why they call us nigger.

The popularity of Flav and New York are due largely in part because of the lack of African American role models that appeal to our youth. The so-called role models that our youth do look up to unfortunately happen to be rappers who nine times out of ten have a past that glorifies drug use and drug trafficking.
One of the most ironic things about this whole thing is that for as long as I can remember, every African American I know has been talking about the day that we would have a Black president. Now that we have a realistic opportunity to elect one, we have people who still want to support Hillary Clinton.

If you've ever taken the time to listen to one of Barack Obama's speeches, you would see how it makes absolutely no sense to vote for anyone but him, however, we have African Americans who still feel differently regardless of their dreams as a child and the best interests of this country.

The racists in this country are sitting back laughing at us when Barack Obama wins states like Idaho, Iowa and Wyoming but loses states with more significant black population like Texas. My question is why are more Whites voting for Obama than Blacks? Am I the only person that’s disturbed by this?

We as a people complain about how bad the inner city is but those same people sat at home and watched the deadline to register to vote in Pennsylvania pass by and did nothing. Why is it that the majority of our youth have absolutely no idea what a super delegate is but know exactly what the superman dance is by Soulja boy?

Why is it that we tear each other down as a people instead of lifting one another up? A prime example of this is when you go into the hood, you never see two Chinese stores within a two block radius of one another.

That's because they don’t want to step on each other's toes. If only black businesses had that much unity in the hood.

As racist as this country is, why do African Americans feel more comfortable walking around in a suburban White neighborhood, than we do amongst our own people? Really stop and think about that for a minute...

I'll admit that I'm guilty of it myself. We all talk about how we want to bring an end to racism but why don't we work on the bigger problem of us killing each other.

If given a choice, I'd rather take my chances with racist corporate America than walking around late at night in South Philly.

The murder rate in this country is ridiculous. The craziest thing is that it's not Whites killing Whites or Asians killing Asians or even Latinos killing Latinos. It's Black-on-Black crime. We all know it's true but we try to convince ourselves that the statistics are inflated by racist politicians.

Don't let the tone of this article confuse you about my love for my people. I’m just frustrated because we could be so much better and have progressed so much further if we would take a long hard look at ourselves and our priorities.
Let's stop pointing the finger at White America and start fixing ourselves so that we'll no longer have to wonder why they call us Nigger.

Dedan Tolbert can be reached at AskDedan@gmail.com

 

Looking For Something?

Social Networks

Facebook Linked In MySpace Twitter YouTube

Free Newsletter

Sign up for our weekly newsletter to stay updated on upcoming shows and events.


Receive HTML?